I went to the bank to cash a check given to me as payment for scouting a homesite for a client, $150. My job routinely takes me all over the four nearest counties. The shortest routes to two of them require crossing either of two toll bridges, so I always need dollar bills for toll-bridge money.
The bank teller asked, “How do you want this money?”
“I need toll-bridge money,” I replied. “So,……..one’s, please.”
He reached into a drawer, pulled out a packet of bills, and counted them out into a stack on the counter from one to a hundred and fifty. He then took the stacked dollars to a machine on the counter behind him, inserted the stack into the bin, and pushed the ‘start’ button, so the machine could verify his count.
It was one hundred and fifty one dollar bills. It wasn’t a lot of money, but I was looking forward to holding a hefty pile of it in my hand, even if it was only one’s. I watched him press the button, and was feeling pretty good about myself.
I was deflated. Of course, I had expected the money to flip quickly as it was counted, but I expected it to take several seconds to do it. This didn’t even take a single third of a single second. I thought the sound of flipping dollars would be similar to a walking boy dragging a stick along a picket fence. This was more like the sound of shuffling two cards too fast. “Thththth,” and it was over.
I don’t think it’s fair that a machine is allowed to make such a mockery of my worldly gain, scant though it is. I believe bank customers would be better served if, instead, the machine was programmed to say in a loud, celebratory voice, “ONE!……He has ONE!” It should pause for a few seconds then continue, “TWO! Look everybody, he has TWO!” Then after another short pause, “THREE! This is amazing. He has THREE!” At this point it would be just fine for the machine to say, “This could go on all day! So, I’ll just finish silently.” That’s when “thththth” would be acceptable. Or, is it acththththeptible?
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