I feel so grown up. Today, I got my first ever extortion email. Someone is demanding thousands of dollars in bitcoin; and if I don't pay they'll release my entire history of online-porn-video viewing. There's nothing I can do about it. The email is spoofed on some poor, sweet lady's account; and she doesn't even know about it. As for my porn viewing history: sometimes I wish I had one. I've never visited a porn site, on purpose that is. One time years ago, on Facebook, I clicked a link to see a … [Read more...]
DEPEND-able Directional Control
Here is something I have witnessed, and aspire to: It is my fervent hope, that when I reach the age of 100, I will have the apparently-specifically-centenarian ability of Directional Urination with which I will be able to choose at will a carefully calculated vector and trajectory so as to allow me to pee entirely around my fully absorbent, over-night underpants. This is something I have personally observed. It seems to offer, not only relief in the moment, but in a body and mind still … [Read more...]
Mr. McKriffin’s Miracle
To begin with, here are the facts of the story : 1. It was 1961. I was seven years old. 2. Pollyanna, the Disney movie, had been released the year before. It was about a little girl who ended up in a wheelchair, and would never walk again, and this was sad. 3. I had a favorite aunt who was in a wheelchair, and would never walk again, and this too was sad. 4. Mr. McKriffin was in a wheelchair, and just like the others, this was sad. 5. I had never seen Mr. McKriffin, except in … [Read more...]
Trick or Tweak Announcement
I know you're all breathless with anticipation, anxious to learn if the big secret experiment worked. It did. Thanks to all of my loyal audience, which is, I think, comprised entirely of me. So, thank me very much! Good night. … [Read more...]
Still Tricking (but in a good way)
Maybe this is the last one for tonight - probably,,,maybe...sort of. Is everybody having fun? … [Read more...]
Almost A Cool New Internet Trick
Okay, the ha's on me. It worked except for one tiny thing, which I will fix, now...maybe. … [Read more...]
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