Here is something I have witnessed, and aspire to: It is my fervent hope, that when I reach the age of 100, I will have the apparently-specifically-centenarian ability of Directional Urination with which I will be able to choose at will a carefully calculated vector and trajectory so as to allow me to pee entirely around my fully absorbent, over-night underpants. This is something I have personally observed. It seems to offer, not only relief in the moment, but in a body and mind still functioning beyond the expected expiration date, a high degree of entertainment for all involved as well as nearby. (Let the reader understand). I’ve seen it. I want it. -AB
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